I dreamed about my brother-in-law last night.
But he was Jay’s follower/successor, not really Jay, as Jay has passed away. He was walking me to my car and was going to tell me a secret. We were discussing herbs maybe. I was expecting him to tell me he didn’t really die. That he was the real Jay D Hill. Instead, he told me that he really did die, but that it was ok. Not amazing like all the talk of heaven we hear, but it wasn’t awful either.
Mom was there too! We were having a family yard sale. It hadn’t been going great…not a lot of sales. But then black people started pulling up in nice 80’s cars. I was looking at our stuff to see what I could throw on my free pile. One lady exclaimed, “Toilet paper! How much you want for that?” Mom brought it to the sale so she could blow her nose on it. The lady wanted just wanted one roll so I gave it to her. Mom didn’t seem thrilled with that. There were quite a few rolls left though, so I didn’t care much.
My friend, Chris was there too. She lost her son last Mothers Day, in real life. Her remaining son was in my dream crying. He wanted to snuggle with Jonah and me. He laid down with us and I put my arm around him. I wanted to help his hurt.
I broke my iPod in my hand and begged Anton to come help me with the broken pieces before I cut myself. He wouldn’t. He was busy talking about himself and didn’t really notice that I needed anything. As I glanced over his way, I could see moving things casting shadows against the white wall. The moving things were not apparent though, only the shadows could be seen.
I watched a guy fall off his motorcycle into the road and then get smashed in the head and run over by an oncoming vehicle.
I had a kitten that looked like Skippyjon Jones…scruffy white chihuahua-like. He even wagged his tail like a dog. We crossed paths near a clinic where I was being treated and became traveling buddies. Before I met Skippycat, a nurse (?) at the clinic pulled me aside and secretly asked me to take something to a contact at another facility. A nursing home maybe? Nearby? I think I was in Garrett, Illinois. Such a small peanut of a town, but I didn’t know my way around. She behaved as if it was some huge secret…very important for me to be discreet. When she came back with the package I was to deliver, I was surprised by the contents. I expected there to be drugs in it. In a small zip-loc bag were about half a dozen long metal clips…like you might see hanging on a lanyard or name tag. I was puzzled by the mission…and confused about exactly who and where I was to take them.
I hopped on an old thick-framed bicycle…very much like the one my grandpa used to have. It was kind of top-heavy and awkward to ride. I saw the kitten and picked him up. He seemed to like me so I took him with me. Skippycat sat in front on the top bar of the frame with his paws on my handlebars. I rode in the snow-covered, unpaved roads heading east..still unsure where I was going. Up ahead, there was a line of men walking into work, something had them backed up. All the snow maybe. I spotted an old neighbor, childhood school mate of mine. Wanted to say hi to Doug because he’s always glad to see me. Wanted to tell him I was up visiting from Florida. I was unable to find him again after I got closer, so I continued on my mystery mission.
I ended up riding into someone’s home. They were nice to me…wasn’t really odd at all that I was there with my kitty on my bike. I walked around the house, still trying to figure out what I was supposed to be doing and where I was going. Skippy found a bowl of water to lap at. That’s where I noticed he could wag his tail like a dog. My littles showed up there eventually…or my kitten morphed into them. I’m not sure.
I dreamed I was with a lot of dogs. Sammies mostly. They were running loose and a little on the wild side. My fault. I’d been neglecting them.
My sister was there with her beautiful dog. A greenish-gray wolf-like creature, he was running. He was beautiful and strong. I was envious. His fur was slightly iridescent, full and healthy.
I was attempting to gather my dogs…to make things right, but they were far and wide. My task seemed impossible.
Then I was surrounded by people. By family and friends and acquaintances, a Relay for Life event on West Scott St. I looked for my sisters so I could join them. They were sitting at a table near the house. I sat with them unnoticed. They were talking.
I wondered where Mom was. She had been among the crowd before, but I couldn’t see her anymore. Someone else wondered as well because I heard them ask about her aloud.
I looked up into the house through a window and noticed that she had gone inside. I could see her as she entered her room. Wearing her bee hive hair do…it was perfect. So was her tan. I understood that she had probably been too tired to stay at the gathering any longer and went indoors to rest…to get away.
Then I noticed that below her shirt that she had no pants on…and there was no meat on her at all below her waist…just her painfully thin legs and her starved skinny ass. It was misshapen and resembling a baboons, unhuman.
I wondered how she had the strength to carry her body around on her frail frame. And I wondered if she knew everyone was looking at her through the sheers. I wanted to warn her. I was completely caught by surprise when she backed-up to the window, bent over and pressed her butt up near the window pane.
It was obvious to me that she was telling the people below, the crowd left outside…to just kiss her ass.
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